I really got tired of hearing how Bush "stole" the 2000 election and thought, for sure, that it would disappear after the 2004 elections. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but yesterday I heard some idiot on Fox News saying it again. I've heard it so often, it must be true. I now believe:
(a) Bush steathily engineered butterfly ballots in a county run by democrats;
(b) Bush created confusing ballots in two other counties run by democrats;
(c) Bush caused the confusing ballots to be published in newspapers before the election just to confuse the voters;
(d) Although I used punch-card ballots for 20 years (and still do in Henrico County), I now know that I am not responsible for making sure that I punch the candidates I want to vote for and not just random punch the ballot;
(e) I thought the signs in the polling place and in the voting booth saying that I could get help if needed and to check my ballot; but I was wrong, they said I couldn't get help;
(f) I'm not responsible for making sure I did it correctly;
(g) You can divine the voter's intent by holding the ballot to a light; it's more effective than candling eggs;
(h) The Florida Surpreme Court had every right to rewrite the election law, without the legislature, and after the votes were cast;
(i) It must be so, because the news covered the Florida recount endlessly as though it were a serious matter;
(j) Every vote cast should count, no matter if the ballot is improperly marked or the voter was registered illegally.
Where do you think I got the prime swampland I offered for sale in the previous post.
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